I was baptized in the Church of Christ at age 16. As far back as I can remember, I have been in search of a stillness, peacefulness in my being (so would say soul). Music often does it for. A beautiful song with or without great lyrics (if lyrics must be great, well thought out, resonates with my soul/ being.)
I grew up in a very small town in southern Oklahoma. There was not much to do. Making up games, visiting my maternal grandmother and watching her so or whatever, or just sitting outside playing made up games with my cousins or one friend. I never really connect well with others. I had too many secrets, secret thoughts, deep thoughts that I believe could never be understood by people in my circle. Without saying, music spoke to that inner part of my troubled self that longed for healing. Healing from what? Well, there is a laundry list I could write but really, I don’t know. My memory is a little fuzzy when thinking of that part of my life. I cry when forced by psychiatrist or psychologist to try to explain my childhood. My dr. labeled it PTSD. OK… I’m not sure if that is the right “label” but ok.